Fan Mail! Why didn't you include parents in The Dirt Girl?

Fan mail! I thought my response was important for all:

There are actually many reasons I didn’t include parents…

I wanted the story to be universal, reaching children of all kinds even those who don’t have parents (or supportive parents, foster children, children who live with grandparents, etc). I didn’t want the message lost on those children who don’t feel they have what is often portrayed with adults in stories.

I wanted children to learn they are resilient and strong and that things outside of them can’t hurt them unless they let them in. And usually it’s the other persons stuff when they do bully or attack (and just need someone to put all the negative they carry on someone else because it’s so big). Which is the underlying message in the story and I think why it resonates with so many…

But, most importantly, I wanted children to learn from this story that the power is inside of them- not anywhere else. Confidence and self-love must be the most important relationship, as self-awareness and knowing thyself. Even for those children who have loving and supportive parents, a child needs to learn to stand alone, because we aren’t able to be with them all the time… especially in the quagmire of elementary and middle school! It’s a war zone (sorry that’s a pun in my new middle-grade book, ENERGY WARS for ages grades 4-8)…

Kids tease and are mean and trying to find their place in the world. It’s the nature of growing up. All these “Being Kind” campaigns are great but it’s healthy and normal for kids to bounce their energy off each other (even the mean ones). It’s how they figure it out. It’s how they learn social hierarchy, who they want to be, what friends they should be with, etc. And a parent telling a child to be nice never works long term. Kids need to be empowered to make decisions, stand up to things they don’t like, navigate the mean and negative people… A parent can’t do that for them… Not including parents in the story was intentional.

Now my answer for your child  -which would be some great discussion points!